Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
