I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
