My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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