i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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