it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
