I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
