You just made me feel so damn special
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
