college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
