no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
