Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
