Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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