I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
