I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
