The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
not ubering you a puppy
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
