This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
