im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
