I murdered the dance floor call the cops
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
