There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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