well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
