You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize