apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize