Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
