Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
