This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
