Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
