Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Panties = found
Randomize
