They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
