I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
