I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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