Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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