i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
is that a dick in a sweater?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
