Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
