come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
