I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
either way he was missing a nipple.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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