went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
