He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
