it was like his penis was on wheels.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There r osticjed everywhere
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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