Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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