Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
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