life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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