i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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