You're so nebulous sometimes
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
