It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
