Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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