I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
