I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize