Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
