I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
