I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
it's like iHOP with fire
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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