I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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