She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
