i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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