I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
