Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
