Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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