i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize