well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize