I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize