That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
